First flight, p.3
First Flight, page 3
“All right.” Chris knew Jesse was not being truthful, but he wasn’t sure if he should say so. Instead, he just turned over, watching Jesse’s back as he did whatever it was he was doing.
“Okay, Jesse,” Ellen said as Chris came into the breakroom, “it’s been two weeks. Time for you to go dancing with us.”
“Well….” Jesse waved his sandwich. “I don’t know.”
“Come on,” she said, flashing a grin at Chris. “Chris is going. Aren’t you, Chris?”
“I like dancing,” Chris said, as he retrieved his lunch from his locker. There was something familiar about dancing but what exactly eluded him. “When are you going?”
“Tomorrow night. Edie and Lucas are all thrilled about their anniversary, so they want to start the night where they met, at Club Le Monde.” Ellen leaned across the table and poked at the back of Jesse’s hand. “You don’t even have to dance, if you don’t want to. Come on, come with us! You know you want to.”
“Are you going, Chris?” Jesse took a bite of his sandwich.
“I’d like to,” Chris said, finding his fork at the bottom of his lunchbox.
“Then I’ll go, too,” Jesse said. He carefully took another bite of his sandwich and watched closely as Chris set about digging into the chunk of leftover meatloaf he’d brought. Doing so allowed him to ignore both the fact that he liked to watch Chris dance and that he did not like the idea of letting Chris go off to the club by himself.
“Good!” Ellen bounced in her chair and stretched over, this time to pat Jesse’s shoulder. “A breakup isn’t the end of the world, you know?”
Chris followed Jesse through the crowd, puzzled by the way he was acting. Everything about him seemed off, somehow. While Chris hadn’t intended to follow Jesse through the door with the little man-picture on it, the people behind him had other ideas. They swept him right into the chilly echoing space, right up against two warm bodies ignoring everything except one another, their mouths touching. Right up against—
“Jesse? What are you doing?”
Jesse turned his head, fast enough to send pins-and-needles down the side of his neck. “Um. Hi, Chris.”
The guy against the wall glared at Chris. “What the hell? This your boyfriend? I don’t do threesomes.”
Boyfriend? “No,” Chris said.
“Fuck, never mind. Sorry.” Jesse pushed himself away, grabbed Chris’s wrist, and shoved his way back out into the hallway. “C’mon.” He dragged Chris through the club and out into the parking lot.
“Jesse….” Chris tried to pick a question out of the dozen or so that were bouncing around his head. His little voice was of no help. It was pleased by this development, but that was all the information it offered.
“I’m sorry, okay?” He crossed his arms and stared at the ground. “I—screw it. You can go back inside if you want. I’m just gonna go home, okay? Ellen’s the driver tonight, so you don’t have to worry about getting home.”
“Jesse, tell me why. He said boyfriend. You are a man; you have a girlfriend, right?” Chris had seen it, over and over again, in movies and TV shows and wherever they went in town. Men and women, together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Then he realized that he’d never seen Jesse with any women, aside from his mother and the women he was friends with. Well, not every man had a girlfriend. He didn’t, after all.
“He thought you might be my boyfriend. And no, I don’t have a girlfriend,” Jesse said, looking up but not at Chris. He took a breath. “Because I’m gay. Means I like guys instead. And I should have told you sooner, but I wasn’t thinking and… anyhow, I’m sorry, and I should just go. Are you gonna stay with Ellen and everybody?”
“You like guys instead,” Chris said slowly. Instead of what, he wasn’t sure, so he did what he always did. “Instead of… what? Eggs?”
“Eggs?” Jesse stared at him for a few seconds, then shook his head and made an amused sound. “You’ve got eggs on the brain, you know that? No. Instead of, instead of women. I’m not interested in kissing women, or getting married to a woman, or going on dates with women. But guys, yeah.”
“That’s because eggs are best,” he said, nodding at Jesse. “Oh. Why are you going home?”
“You always say that.” Jesse shrugged and waved at the building behind Chris. “Because I didn’t really want to come out here anyhow, but I thought maybe I’d change my mind once I got here, and that guy probably wouldn’t be too thrilled to see me again. Are you gonna stay?”
“It’s true.” Chris put his hands in his pockets and walked toward Jesse’s car. “No, I will go. I like to dance, but I want to think, now.”
“Yeah, me too. We’ll take the long way home, okay?”
“Okay.”
Chris thought, as Jesse turned the car in the opposite direction of home. Jesse wanted a man. It was a fascinating idea, and he turned it over and over, like a spoon in sunlight.
The farther they drove, the more he thought, the more certain he became: Christopher Valentine Swanson would become Jesse Noel Swanson’s boyfriend. It was right, like the way eggs were right or the way going to bed when the sun went down was right.
Jesse’s thoughts ran along a different line, ranging over what he’d seen in Kevin in the first place and not quite acknowledging that he’d agreed to meet the guy at the club because he’d reminded him of someone, someone he wasn’t entirely sure he should be thinking of like that.
Chapter Five
The first day:
“G’morning,” Jesse said, shuffling into the kitchen.
“Good morning,” Chris said, “I made you breakfast.”
Jesse blinked. Toast, coffee, cereal, and…. “Eggs,” he said. They were hard-boiled. Not his favorite breakfast item, but reasonable given Chris’s current culinary skills.
“Yes. Cooked.”
“Yeah.” Jesse sat down and picked up a piece of toast. “Thanks. This is, uh, nice.”
“You are welcome. I made your lunch,” Chris said, holding up the plastic bag in which he’d placed it.
“My lunch?” Jesse frowned over his coffee cup. “Okay, thanks.”
“Yes.”
The second day:
Jesse frowned at the little piece of paper on the bottom of his locker. Someone must have slipped it through the vents, which was odd. His co-workers usually used sticky notes. Unfolding it revealed familiar handwriting.
jesse -
hope u have a good day!
—k
He threw it away and went on with his day.
The third day:
Chris opened his eyes as the morning’s first light edged around the blinds in Jesse’s room. He could hear Leanna and Desmond moving around, Jesse’s breathing, and a single bird somewhere in the yard. He slipped out from under his blanket and straightened his bedding, then padded out to start his routine.
As Chris washed his face, he thought about breakfast. Coffee was a given, as were eggs; perhaps cinnamon toast? For lunch he would make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Today would be different. Today, he would put the first gift beside Jesse’s cup.
The fourth day:
Someone had left a business card under his wiper. Grumbling, Jesse pulled it free and looked at it, intending to call and complain—except that it wasn’t for a business.
jesse—
just a note to say hi!
—k
“Give it up, seriously,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes and stuffing the card into his pocket.
The fifth day:
Jesse sat down at the table, eyes half-open, seeing nothing more than eggs (of course) and toast and coffee (thank God, coffee) and a bottle cap and a glass of orange juice—
Bottle cap? He picked it up. Just a Bud Light bottle cap, bent and a little scratched, a little shiny. Come to think of it, there had been one of those annoying knockouts beside his breakfast the other morning, looking like a quarter. He’d taken it upstairs and had almost put it in his pocket before he realized that it wasn’t money.
The sixth day:
Reba McEntire’s voice was interrupted by a bright, “Hi!”
“Hi, Kevin. Why are you leaving me notes?”
“Because it’s nice to leave friendly notes for people. Didn’t you tell me your mom used to put notes in your lunchbox when you were a kid?”
“Well, yeah, but she’s my mom and we’re not going out, Kevin. Could you, y’know, stop?” Jesse rubbed the side of his face with his free hand.
“I’m your boyfriend,” Kevin said. “I can leave you notes if I want to.”
“Um….” Jesse looked around the parking lot, but everything seemed normal. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I can leave notes for my boyfriend if I want to.”
“Except for the part where I broke up with you,” Jesse said.
“I never agreed to it,” Kevin said, sounding puzzled.
“Uh…. You know what? I have to go. Bye.” He hung up and got into his car, staring at a tree across the street for a few minutes. Jesse couldn’t decide how he felt, and in the end he gave up and headed home.
The seventh day:
“Good morning, Christopher,” Leanna said, with a smile.
“Good morning,” he said, tilting his head. “Can you please show me another way to cook eggs?”
“Sure.” She moved toward the fridge. “How about scrambled? They’re pretty easy, and a lot faster than boiling.”
“Scrambled,” Chris said, opening the cabinet where the pans were kept. “All right. Which pan?”
“Grab the smaller skillet, okay? Good. Let’s see. Eggs, a little milk, the pepper’s over there. Okay.” Leanna carried the eggs and the milk over to the counter and retrieved a bowl. “Okay, so you start with some eggs. Are you going to share with Jesse?”
“Yes. It’s good to share,” he said, solemnly.
She raised her eyebrows and gave a little shrug. “Okay, so we’ll say four eggs to start with.”
The eighth day:
when ur ready 2 come back 2 me, ill be here
—k
“Not gonna happen,” Jesse muttered, as he wadded up the note and tossed it into the back seat of his car.
The ninth day:
Jesse shuffled into the kitchen, lured by the scent of coffee. Coffee duly obtained, he squinted at the table as he dropped into his usual chair. Eggs, toast, milk and cereal, and someone’s key. That was strange. “Hey, Chris?”
“Yes?”
“Did you lose a key?”
“No, I have all of my keys. That one is for you.”
“Okay.” Well, whatever. Maybe it was just because it was early.
The tenth day:
Jesse missed looking forward to getting to his car after work. There was another note, under the wiper blade, and he groaned as he pulled the paper free.
every move u make
every step u take
im watching u—cuz i luv u!
—k
“What the—” Jesse pulled his phone out and dialed, scowling at the fact that he still knew Kevin’s number.
“Hey, baby.”
“I’m not your baby. And this note? About you watching me? Is really fucking creepy. You’d better not be watching me.”
“You’re always in my heart, Jesse.”
From his grandmother, it would have been sweet; from Kevin, it made him want to take a shower. “I don’t care! I don’t want any more notes.”
“Why? I love you. Why don’t you want me to tell you that? It’s a little disappointing that you’re so upset by this.”
“Disappointing— You— Wow. Okay, just what do you want me to say? You want me to lie to you?”
“No. Never, ever lie to me, Jesse. I will find out, and you will be sorry.” Kevin’s voice was colder than the nasty little north wind that bit at the nape of Jesse’s neck.
“Well, then, you’d better get used to the truth, Kevin, and the truth is, I broke up with you. Stop leaving me notes.”
“Well, if it will make you happy, I’ll stop for a couple of days. You just need some space, right? Take a couple of days and see how right I am for you. How I’m your one and only. Take care, Jesse.”
He was still spluttering when Kevin ended the call.
The fifteenth day:
Chris picked through his little collection of interesting things he’d found on his travels through the city. This morning, it would be…. Ah. One of the discs that looked like a quarter but wasn’t. He put it in his pocket, then went downstairs to start breakfast.
The twentieth day:
Bagels, coffee, juice, eggs, and a Corona bottle cap. Jesse pushed it across the table as he sipped his coffee, trying to decide if he should say something about it. Then Chris sat down, humming over his own food, and the bottle cap was suddenly a lot less important.
“Hey, Chris?”
“Hm?”
“Seriously, thanks. You’re always making me breakfast, and it’s just…. Thanks. A lot.”
Jesse grumbled as he caught sight of the piece of paper under his windshield wiper. No matter how many signs the management put up, people couldn’t be bothered with reading them, which meant one more tree had to die. He grabbed the sheet and yanked, glancing at it before he crumpled it into a ball. Jesse straightened it out again, scowling at the page.
jesse –
just a little note 2 remind u that im thinking of u :)
—k
His free hand let go of his keys and wrapped around his cell instead. A few button-presses later and he was listening to the annoying strains of Reba McEntire’s “Fancy”; Kevin answered halfway through the first line of the chorus.
“Hi, Jesse.”
“You left another note on my car.”
“Aw, you found it!”
“It’s creepy. Could you stop?”
“Creepy? How can it be creepy? I just wanted you to know you’re on my mind.”
Jesse took a deep breath. “Kevin. It’s creepy because we broke up. No longer going out. Exes. Finished. Through. Done. Over.”
“I know we’re just taking a break, because that’s one of those things that happens,” Kevin said, his voice serious. “When you’re ready to come back to me, I’ll be right here.”
“Wait, what?” Jesse wadded the note up again, stuffing it into his pocket. “What did you say?”
“When you’re ready to come back to me, I’ll be right here. Just like I’ve always been. I’ve always been there for you, Jesse. You know I have.”
“Kevin, I’m not coming back. I’ve got to go, Mom wanted me to get some stuff for her and the place closes early on Tuesdays.” Jesse ended the call, then leaned against his car for a minute. His thumb tapped at his phone as he straightened up and he fished his keys out of his pocket with his free hand.
“Swanson residence,” Chris said.
“Hey. You wanna do something this evening? Maybe see if Edie and Lucas wanna catch a movie?”
“All right. Edie said last week that she wanted to see The Boys Of The Maginot Line, which I think is playing at the Big Timber.”
“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Jesse said, smiling a little as something eased inside him. “Awesome. I’ll give ’em a call when I get home. See you in a minute.”
“Yes. Drive carefully.”
“I will.”
Three minutes later, Jesse’s phone rang. “Hello?”
“Why did you lie to me, Jesse?”
“What? Why the fuck are you calling me?” The tight feeling was back, compounded by a sick twist in his stomach.
“You lied to me, Jesse. You’re going home, not anywhere else. Why? Don’t you know it hurts both of us when you lie?”
“Kevin, I—” Jesse glanced into the mirror. “Why are you following me? Why the fuck are you following me?”
