UNWANTED RETURN

  CONNOR WHITELEY

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  Copyright © 2023 CONNOR WHITELEY

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  DEDICATION

  Thank you to all my readers without you I couldn’t do what I love.

  Table of Contents

  Copyright Page

  UNWANTED RETURN

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  UNWANTED RETURN

  Adam Penn had always loved the wonderful warm feeling of love, respect and Christmassy goodness that he felt in Canterbury’s breathtaking Christmas markets. He normally walked through the historical cobblestone high street at the weekdays when he lectured at the university on psychology, and then at the weekend when he went to volunteer at the soup kitchen, heart attack charity shop and occasionally helped out coaching an under-10s football team.

  Adam really did love helping people all through the entire year and really try to amplify the Christmas spirit.

  But he never ever wanted to see his abuser return.

  Of course some people might have said Adam had only seen the merest of glimpses of Jamie Button through the immense crowds of people with their thick winter coats, their laughter and joy echoing in the high street and fathers carrying little kids on their shoulders.

  But Adam knew what he saw.

  Adam just stood to one side against the icy coldness of a white wall of a local bank as he assessed the situation. He tried to focus on the immense sea of people in front of him, people walking up and down the high street singing, dancing and spreading Christmas cheer.

  It was too much and all the people there were just checking the little wooden Christmas stalls. Like the doughnut stall in front of Adam with all its rows upon rows of festively decorated doughnuts.

  The loud sound of Christmas music, people laughing and even the sound of arcade games echoed off the walls of the high street. There was no chance whatsoever Adam could possibly hear his attacker coming.

  It wasn’t even like Adam could call the police or anything because they would only turn around and say that James was in prison for stalking, psychological abuse and trying to kill Adam in the end. They wouldn’t believe what Adam saw.

  But James was here.

  Adam had spent five long years being attacked, mocked and bullied by that monster.

  Adam had carved every single youthful, stunning pore on his ex-boyfriend’s face into his mind so it was flat out impossible for him to forget what he looked like.

  The police hadn’t even been too interested the last time when Adam had first reported the abuse. Apparently gay people didn’t abuse their boyfriends that only happened to straight women.

  Well that was a fucking joke if there ever was one.

  There was one cop that tried to help and support Adam and eventually got James arrested and charged. But that strikingly beautiful cop AJ had fled soon after the trial.

  There wasn’t a single explanation, goodbye or anything. And it was then that Adam realised that he could only ever depend on himself.

  And that most men were simply awful.

  “I can see you,” James said.

  Adam looked around but he couldn’t see him.

  Adam could recognise that voice anywhere. James was here and he sounded just as deranged, insane and scary as he always did.

  James had been caring and loving once but after his plan to isolate Adam from everyone who ever loved him had worked he had revealed his true self.

  And even after the abuse and attempted murder, his family and friends still wanted nothing to do with him. apparently he deserved it.

  Adam looked around trying to see where James might be in the sea of happy joyous visitors to the Christmas market. He couldn’t see anyone strange or anyone looking at him.

  Adam was completely invisible to everyone else and that was actually what James had said about the reason why he had chosen Adam to target.

  All Adam had to do was just leave, get home and try to call the police. There was still that restraining order in place so hopefully the police could do something.

  Yes. That was exactly what Adam had to do.

  He pushed himself off the white wall of the bank and started to carefully go back up the high street. He didn’t dare go into the crowd of people because that would make it too easy for James to sneak up on him with a knife.

  And kill him.

  Adam kept walking pulling the black hood of his coat over his head in some lame attempt to make himself even more invisible.

  Adam realised his heart pounded in his chest. Sweat was pouring down his back despite the icy coldness of the night. And all Adam could think was that he was going to die tonight.

  He tried to focus on the lumpy, bumpy texture of the cobblestone high street he was walking on but it was useless. He just couldn’t stop thinking about dying.

  Adam even tried to see if anyone was following him in all the different glass windows of the stunning shops in the high street.

  He looked at the glass windows of a little coffee shop that Adam loved because of their milkshakes. But he couldn’t see anyone.

  Someone grabbed Adam.

  Pinning him against the wall.

  Adam tried to scream. Someone slammed their hand over his mouth.

  Adam struggled. Kicked. Tried to fight. He couldn’t.

  “It’s me,” a very familiar voice said.

  Adam’s body recognised the voice before his brain could and all the tension was released, his heart calmed down and the sweat stopped pouring down his back.

  Adam just looked at the strikingly beautiful man that was pinning him to the wall. His AJ had returned to him after so many years, so many years of not knowing what happened, wondering if their brief fling during the trial had been real and so many years of not trusting men anymore.

  AJ got off Adam, grabbed his hand and started walking him up the high street.

  “James was released from prison two days ago. It was down to a clerical error instead and train tickets show he arrived in Canterbury an hour ago,” AJ said.

  Adam loved how manly, husky and serious his voice was but Adam just wanted answers.

  “What happened to you? I waited for you after the verdict. I wanted to thank you, love you, care about you,”

  AJ frowned and looked around.

  “Answer me,” Adam said a little louder than he wanted to.

  AJ shrugged. “It’s personal and I just want to keep you safe and alive. I can’t lose you,”

  Adam wanted to bite back about how AJ had lost him for years without AJ even daring to call but now wasn’t the time.

  If James was here and released from Prison then he was a dead man walking. Adam had had a few self-defence classes over the years but clearly Adam didn’t know how to use them when it actually mattered most.

  “Backup is on the way but they won’t be here for another twenty minutes at most,” AJ said.

  “Fuck you police,” Adam said. “First you don’t believe when I’m being abused. Second you AJ the one cop that I trust runs away. Third you release my abuser by accident without telling me,”

  AJ looked around again and stopped and grabbed Adam’s hands. He grabbed them so hard Adam hissed in pain.

  “Oh sorry,” AJ said as he released them. “I am sorry what happened but I don’t want to lose you. I love you for God sake,”

  The words slammed into Adam like hammer blows and AJ had never even hinted that was how he felt those years ago during the trial.

  Adam wanted to believe he was lying or just trying to manipulate him, but AJ wasn’t. His eyes were too wet and emotional for him to be lying.

  Someone tackled AJ to the ground.

  AJ screamed.

  There was a loud thud.

  Someone jumped off AJ.

  Adam rushed over to AJ. He was lying on the cobblestone ground. Still breathing but out cold.

  “Ha. You were always a fairy boy,” James said.

  The icy coldness and twisted edge to the words sliced through the cold air and Adam felt his stomach twist into a painful knot.

  Adam slowly stood up and just stared with utter horror as James was only a few metres from him.

  James was still beautiful to some extent with his broad shoulders, amazing body and gorgeous sapphire eyes but Adam now knew those eyes were only windows into the darkest soul he had ever seen.

  “I’m glad you kept your hair long. At least I can rip it all out again,” James said grinning.

  Adam felt a lump form in his throat as he realised that he was still the stupid little boy with no muscles, long brown hair and a handsome face that James had met all those years ago.

  James rushed over to him.

  Adam spun around. He ran.

  James gripped his hair.

  Adam screamed as James wrapped it around his fist.

  He started dragging Adam up the high street.

  � ��What are you doing!” Adam shouted but no one seemed to care.

  “I’m taking you back to my car. I’ll have fun with you and then I will kill you this time. Nice and slowly,”

  Adam kicked, punched, struggled against James but he was still too strong.

  James threw him against the cold marble of another bank. Adam slammed into it with a thud.

  James slammed his fists into Adam’s face.

  “That is enough fairy boy,” James said.

  “That is enough for you too!” AJ shouted.

  Adam kicked James in-between the legs as hard as he could.

  James hissed. Adam tried to run past.

  James gripped him. Putting Adam in a headlock.

  “You didn’t find your dead leso of a sister Detective?” James asked.

  Adam gasped. That explained so much and AJ had spoken a lot about the fact he knew his sister was dead but they had never found the body.

  “You killed her,” Adam said.

  “Of course. All fairies must die. That is what the bible has said for thousands of years and so it shall be until the end of time,” James said.

  Adam stomped on his foot. James hissed.

  Adam elbowed him in the ribs.

  James released him. Adam spun around.

  Whacking him round the face.

  Adam ran towards AJ.

  James whipped out a gun.

  He aimed it at AJ.

  He fired.

  Adam tackled AJ to the ground.

  People screamed around them. James kept firing.

  Adam jumped up. Charging at James.

  James looked scared. His hand was shaking.

  Adam leapt into the air.

  Extending his leg to kick James.

  James grabbed his leg.

  Throwing Adam against the marble wall of the bank.

  Adam landed with a crack. His chest ached.

  James stormed over to him. Placing the gun in Adam’s mouth.

  James’s head exploded. Blood, brain matter and bone shards splashed over Adam’s face and all Adam could see was a sniper on the roof opposite him and as the entire situation became all too much for him, Adam simply collapsed into unconsciousness.

  ***

  After a rather wonderful hospital visit, finding out Adam had some fractured ribs and the doctors had tried out a brand-new experimental treatment on him to make his ribs heal faster, it was thankfully only two days later after James’s death that Adam was out of hospital.

  Beautiful AJ had offered to pick him up and Adam just sort of knew that it would be healthy for him to let AJ do that. He still didn’t really know what happened that night, why AJ loved him and Adam wasn’t sure if he was ready for another relationship.

  He had never really been too good at them and all the guys he had picked up were foul in the end. Maybe Adam was just meant to be and die alone.

  Adam sat in the very warm and comfortable passenger seat in AJ’s large black SUV as they drove down a narrow country road with thick oak trees lining the road and their branches gently blowing in the delightful crisp and warm afternoon wind.

  The scents of vanilla, lavender and oranges filled the air inside the car and Adam just looked at beautiful AJ. And he actually looked at him properly now his life wasn’t in danger.

  AJ was just as striking now as he was a few years ago, but he seemed to have gotten even more beautiful, Adam still loved AJ’s blond hair that was so soft and Adam loved spending hours running his fingers through it and playing with all that softness.

  AJ was still as fit and sexy with his stunning body as he was a few years ago. His body was sort of James in a way, and clearly Adam had a type. He wanted to be with “real” men that weren’t weak and pathetic like him.

  But most of all, Adam still loved AJ because he was beautiful.

  “I am sorry for everything,” Adam said. “I should have been stronger, tougher and more ready for this. It’s my fault that-”

  “No!” AJ shouted as he turned the SUV into a little gap in the trees and just stared at Adam.

  “I’m sorry,” Adam said looking at the floor like he had always done with James whenever he had shouted at Adam.

  It was amazing how the reflexes were still there after all this time.

  “Damn,” AJ said softly. “I didn’t know your reflexes were still... you know,”

  Adam didn’t dare look up. He knew that AJ loved him and was trying to be nice but Adam just knew that not looking at AJ was safer. It was always safer never to look at men when they were angry.

  “No,” AJ said as carefully as he could. “I am sorry for shouting. It’s just none of this is your fault. Not James. Not your abuse. Nothing is your fault,”

  Adam looked up and loved seeing how innocent, cute and real AJ was being with him. And that he actually meant what he was saying.

  “Listen to me,” AJ said. “You, Adam Penn, are beautiful, perfect and the sweetest guy I have ever met. When that nob sent me away looking for my sister’s body I thought every single day about you,”

  Adam’s throat went dry.

  “I thought about how cute you were, about how much I wanted to plait your hair after we have sex, I wanted your body and I wanted you most of all,” AJ said. “I never stopped thinking about you,”

  As much as Adam just knew that AJ was telling the truth without a shadow of a doubt, he couldn’t understand why AJ he had never called, texted or tried to contact him whatsoever. So he asked him.

  AJ looked to the floor like he was the abuse victim then Adam realised what had happened.

  “James had friends you know,” AJ said, not daring to look at Adam. “Two friends really so I went to where, James had told me my sister would be, and yea, the two men found me, beat me and, yea life happened,”

  Adam leant closer and unclipped his seatbelt and he hugged AJ but he was surprised when AJ hissed.

  Adam gently ran his hand down AJ’s amazing body but AJ was biting his lip more and more and Adam just knew that he wasn’t okay.

  “That’s why I had to come back to you when I heard James had been released by mistake,” AJ said, looking at Adam.

  Adam just stared into his beautiful AJ’s stunning eyes and really focused on the warmth, emotion and utter love they held.

  “I couldn’t, I just couldn’t face the idea of losing you,” AJ said. “I need you. I need to love you. I want you,”

  Adam slowly nodded a little and realised that this was all he had ever wanted a man to say to him but it also felt strange. Like he almost wasn’t alone anymore and sure he knew the road to recovery and living a happy life was very possible, his therapist had been teaching him that constantly over the past year.

  But it would be difficult.

  AJ kissed Adam’s hand and he realised that no journey in life that was worth it was easy, and this time round Adam and AJ would be helping each other overcome the past, helping to love each other and finally getting the life that they both deserved.

  Because Adam definitely deserved to know what true love felt like. Not the sort of “love” that James and so many men before that had “gifted” him, but the type of love where AJ would kiss him gently with passion, make love with him because AJ loved him but didn’t need to channel some aggression, and most importantly AJ would never ever hit Adam or abuse him.

  And right now, right in this little moment in time, that was all that Adam wanted. A relationship that loved him back and didn’t abuse him.

  Sure in the future that might change and Adam might want a house with AJ, maybe kids and maybe even marriage, but that was in the future.

  And as Adam kissed AJ again and again, that was okay and the future was looking very exciting and Adam couldn’t wait for it to come.

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  About the author:

  Connor Whiteley is the author of over 60 books in the sci-fi fantasy, nonfiction psychology and books for writer’s genre and he is a Human Branding Speaker and Consultant.

 

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